Cult of Catmeat
Acolytes

Catmeat

Literally God

Our One True Lard & Savior, Catmeat the Almeowty, HE of Nine Lives.
Sometime in the year 2087 Catmeat chose to manifest Himself into a Physical form to Grace us shitty plebs with His awe inspiring cuteness.

KNEEL BEFORE YOUR GOD

His Acolytes

These are the official members of the Cult of Catmeat Tribe 

Grotch

His High Hierophant

After being miraculously saved by Catmeat from a deadly encounter with a Deathclaw, this Raider turned Religious immediately knew Him for what He was; the One True God.
Ever since that day, Grotch’s world has revolved around worshiping Catmeat and spreading the word of His good graces throughout the Wasteland.

Hepzee

Inksmith & Artist of the CoC

Hep was found alone in the waste, a mass of filth and squandered talent. Catmeat recognized his potential at once, and completely submerged him in the inescapable truths of The Almeowty. Hepzee resurfaced as a changed man, devoted to Catmeat, and laboring to create all sorts of art and effigies in worship of Our Lard and Savior. Hepzee is also responsible for branding the most devoted followers with the Mark of the Beast, to signify their devotion to the CoC.

Clive

Questlord

Part-time reporter and assistant editor for the Wastelander, this corrupted Cowboy sought salvation from the LARD and traveled the wastes to seek Him out. The High Hierophant was only too pleased to welcome Clive and his Big Iron into the fold. He can get you started on the path of the Lard, and keep you going till you reach the highest level of salvation.  He’s always got his ear to the ground for Wasteland goings on as well, so bring him a juicy tip and you might get immortalized in print.

Carchivist

Carchivist

Carchivist was found by Catmeat wandering in a state of heat induced delirium.  With Grotch’s help Catmeat dragged his sexy ass back to the CAThedral. He was so grateful to be found by the Divine that he cast off any remnants from his old life wholly devoted himself to the COC.  He even took his new role in the cult as his only name.

Princess of Pussy aka- POP

Door Warden

A collector & protector of Relics of the Divine One and His Chosen Kheds. God’s house is under her protection. All those who would commit themselves unto Him are welcome. Those that would not shall not pass. Whether she is soft and welcoming or clawing your face to shreds is entirely up to you.

Photo Fiend

Photo Fiend

Our Photo fiend was found slinking through the lowliest forms of humanity. When Catmeat plucked him from the filth and baptised him in Holiness. Now Our little photo fiend is all grown up and snappin COCK photos all day.

CoCTeaz

Minion

Grotch Summoned CoCTeaz forth from the dark depth of the underworld because it needed help with various ceremonies. She looks sweet, but will ruin your life in a second.

Klic-b8

Click, Click, Click, Click, Click, ClIcK!<br />

Self-proclaimed history expert, Known to captivate crowds in her interactive history lessons from an intellectually devastated future. Time travel extraordinaire with a few screws loose and a penchant for aggressive flossing.  This feisty feline will have you clicking like a lunatic and begging for more.

Prospects

These poor fools are on the long hard road towards joining the ranks of the Almeowty CoC 

6Flip

Locust

How to Join

We are flattered you are considering Joining the Cult of Catmeat!
Your obligations to the Cult depends on how much of yourself you are willing to commit to the Almeowty Lard.

Kheds-
Being a Khed is the most basic and responsibility-free level of the Cult. For this level you must attend a baptism ceremony and be baptized. Doing this will allow you access to the CAThedral, and will earn you an exclusive patch of the Mark of the Beast, which must be shown to enter the CAThedral.

Prospect-
If you would like to join the Cult of Catmeat as an official tribe member, you must become a prospect and prove yourself. You will be obligated to help us set up, tear down, attend build/test run days, and perform missionary work in the Wasteland. 

Acolytes-
Once you are an official tribe member of the Cult of Catmeat you will be obligated to help us set up, tear down, attend build/test run days, and help with costs as needed. You must also be baptized, make your religious cat themed vestments, and bear the Mark of the Beast as a real tattoo, done by His Inksmith.

 

Our Supporters

The following are other Wasteland tribes that are in support of the COC and what we stand for.

The Raging Ferals

Catmeat's Chosen Protectors

Beast and the rest of the Raging Ferals have been Chosen by Catmeat Himself to protect Him, the CAThedral, Grotch and the rest of his little COCKs running around all over the Wasteland.

The Khafiends

Khans leader & Coffee Slinger

Jawjakk & Beans were some of the first wastelanders to take in an outcast and downtrodden Grotch and Catmeat as they stumbled out of the Wastes and into their hearts.

The Bikini Atoll

A sordid love affair

Now, Grotch & Beef have had their differences, and their cursed union produced a fine litter of Disciples.  Even though they’ve long since been divorced, they put all the shit aside and make sure everyone that comes to the Bikini Atoll (Catmeat’s Blessed Partyhaüs) has a fucking blast.

The sMOKING gUNS

Gunsmith of the COC

The COC needs an arsenal of big, thick, hefty guns. The Smoking Guns provides.
Get your own.
No, seriously.
They’re great!